[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/Fos_hkEg_Xg&hl=en]Miss USA contestant Crystle Stewart fell during the famed evening gown walk of this year’s MIss Universe Pageant, making it the second consecutive year miss USA has fallen. Although she was able to quickly get up, laugh, and clap at herself, her smile didn’t seem genuine. Boy did those nostrils come flaring out–and you could tell she was about to go walk off the stage and cry. I would probably do the same thing, so I’m not one to point fingers, but i do feel bad for her. She was definitely one of the prettiest ones there and seemed like a nice enough lady. Now if I was Sharon Stone, I would say “America is doing mean things to rest of the world, so I find myself thinking…Could this be karma? ” (What a stupid, stupid thing to say Sharon.)

The sad irony of it all is the song was playing, in which Alan Thicke sings “you got that magic girl” (or something like that) moments after she fell. My advice for next year, Miss USA:

Don’t wear dresses with ridiculously long trains or dresses with “beads” on them!

The NBC show took place in Vietnam with the obvious Donald Trump plugs and Miss Venezuela, Dayana Mendoza, won the official title, sparkling in a pretty yellow gown. Now whether or not her boobs are real, you be the judge. Miss Mexico definitely had fake tig ol’ bitties.

It’s amazing that all these girls are only 19 and 20 years old, and are made to look 30. You take young, beautiful girls, spray fake tan on them, put pounds of make up on their faces (and bodies–no one’s stomach can look like that without some airbrushing or “six-pack shading”), half a bottle of hairspray, maybe some colored contacts, silicone breasts if they naturally don’t exceed a C-cup, and voila! You’ve got a fool-proof formula. Oh yeah, and you must be at least like 5′7 to be in this competition, which I think sucks. Sorry, but we (Asians) just don’t normally come that big. Some more irony: It would be very hard to find a 5′7 woman in the very country they were hosting the competition (Vietnam). I’m done ranting. Here’s a clip of the winner herself getting crowned *tear*:

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One a side note: But Seriously, what was up with Miss Dominican Republic’s dress? It was a nude colored gown covered with diamond shaped mirrors. Yes, mirrors. I didn’t really care for it. It looked like the infamous Britney Spears nude/sparkly number on crack. You know, the one from the VMA a few years back.

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I really liked that former Miss Universe Riyo Mori (of Japan) decided to wear a conductor-like tuxedo for her last walk as reigning miss universe. I thought it was a pretty progressive statement (despite the fact that her knockers were half out). She still looked amazing, as usual.

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