Although I’ve been saying it since probably my freshman year in high school, I can’t exactly recall just how its origins came about. All I know is that it originated in the Bay Area (no, not Seattle) and quickly expanded out to other parts of northern California (Sacramento) and Washington state. And eventually, all the So Cal folks that hated on it initially started saying it too. A few years after its conception, the pop band No Doubt (ironically reppin’ So Cal) came out with a song called “Hella Good,” and before we knew it, the word had already spread like the Bubonic plague, and the entire U.S. had at least heard of it or starting saying it. Even Cartman from South Park would use it repeatedly, making it one of his token lines. If you haven’t guessed it yet, I’m talking about the word “HELLA,” folks. It has been used mainly to replace words like “really,” “very,” “totally,” “extremely,” etc. For instance, the proper usage* would be something like “I’m hella exhausted.”

*I know, I know. I’m aware that “proper” usage for the word hella is actually an oxymoron. It was just used to cite and example of common usage.

Although just last week I generally didn’t mind its use, I came to a sudden epiphany. I was at this bagel shop on 2nd and Harrison and I heard this chick who was probably in her early- to mid-twenties tell this long elaborate story about her pathetic life and all this “drama” surrounding it. I tried to mind my own business, but she was talking to the poor woman at the register and kept whining and whining…loud enough that the entire shop could hear her. So I hear this bratty girl (if you were there, you’d think she was bratty, too) repeatedly use the word “hella,” in sentences like “I was HELLA mad,” “I HELLA started questioning our friendship,” “It was just HELLA wrong.” Basically, it was every other sentence. She sounded outright ridiculous and her repeated use of “HELLA” was driving me nuts. It was actually distracting for anyone listening and diluted the whole point of her story.

After witnessing that horrendous storyteller, I vowed to never willingly use that word again. Look, we’ve been using it for, I’d say, at least 8-10 years now. Enough is enough. The Bay Area is known for its innovative slang. We CAN come up with new words. We CAN be the change we wish to see in the Bay Area. We CAN stop using words that are so 10 years ago.

I urge YOU, fellow citizens, to join me in this sincere pledge to STOP saying the word “HELLA.” It’s hella about damn time.

"You guys are hella lame" -- Cartman, South Park

Popularity: 4% [?]