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It’s Sunday morning. The sun is shining. I wake up happy and turn to my significant other. He appears to be sleeping. He looks so peaceful when he’s sleeping, I think to myself with a half smile on my face. I put my arm around him to give him a quick squeeze (before I get up to start the usual Sunday chores), and a hard object hits my hand. This object is small and slick. I’m slightly dumbfounded, but before I have the chance to speak and figure out what he’s treasuring at his bedside, he turns his head around just enough to get a quick glimpse of my face. He looks at me for a brief second, still lying with his back towards me.

“Good morning,” he says with a smile.

“What are you doing over there?” I ask inquisitively.

“Oh, just reading the news,” he says with a mischievous grin as he quickly turns his head to me and back.

I know this grin. It’s the same grin he gives me when I catch him on Wikipedia reading about another country, a chemical compound, or a notable person in history when he should be working or studying. It’s the look of utter bliss he gets while soaking up immeasurable amounts of knowledge, retaining all that information, and having the power to spit it out at any given time or place, particularly at parties and social events (although the actual facts may bore some, the actual ability never fails to impress).

I turn over and peep my head over in his direction and see that he is very consumed with iphone in hand.

The above experience reflects the first time it happened.

Since then, I experienced this exact scenario a few more times (the only difference is that I actually knew what he was doing) before it suddenly dawned on me. No more morning chats would ever take place. I have been replaced. He’s cheating on me…with his iphone.

What I thought was a brief, new found fascination with the ability to get copious amounts of information from a hand-held device, turned into a daily ritual -reading the New York Times on his iphone is now his most cherished morning activity. Any attempt on my behalf to start a conversation would be “disturbing” the normalcy of said holy ritual.

How is it that I’ve been replaced by an electronic gadget? How can I even compete with all the information he can get from his iphone? It’s simply unreasonable for me to think he can get his fiendish fix from me…for I am not a robot, just a mere mortal.

It’s easy to get distracted from what seems like the mundane happenings around you when you have the world at your fingertips. And although I know there’s no way I will get those mornings back, I proposed a compromise, which ironically enough, sounds like a frustrated mother talking to her son about his gameboy usage (do they even make those anymore?). My request to my partner was simple: Please, just don’t take that thing out and play with it when we’re at dinner. And while you’re at it, can you turn it off?

“You don’t really turn the iphone off,” he says. “It ’sleeps’ when it’s inactive.”

Just great.

Unfortunately, a girl like me is simply left to her own devices…literally. And since I don’t really own any gadgets to constantly obsess over, the only thing left for me to do is to get an iphone of my own.

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?

Take that, iphone whores. We can now remain on the same plane of anti-socialness as we play Texas Hold ‘Em during dinner -without even looking at each other!

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